Sasquatch

AGE: Various.

HEIGHT: Eight feet.

SHOE SIZE: Size 38.

WEIGHT: 750 pounds.

FASHION RATING: B+ Although Sasquatch doesn't wear any clothes, he is quite fashionable-- long, shaggy hair is back in style.

HAIRSTYLE: Most Sasquatches are quaffed in reddish-brown hair that surrounds their whole body-- redheads are, of course, eternally cool. The occasional "punker" Sasquatch has white hair.

SMELL: Bad. Bigfoot is very much a smell-him-before-you-see-him type of creature. Eau de Sasquatch is described as a musty, pig-like, outhouse scent mixed with stale urine. No wonder they're often spotted alone.