![]() "Pass the berries or I'll rip out your spleen!" |
SasquatchAGE: Various. HEIGHT: Eight feet. SHOE SIZE: Size 38. WEIGHT: 750 pounds. FASHION RATING: B+ Although Sasquatch doesn't wear any clothes, he is quite fashionable-- long, shaggy hair is back in style. HAIRSTYLE: Most Sasquatches are quaffed in reddish-brown hair that surrounds their whole body-- redheads are, of course, eternally cool. The occasional "punker" Sasquatch has white hair. SMELL: Bad. Bigfoot is very much a smell-him-before-you-see-him type of creature. Eau de Sasquatch is described as a musty, pig-like, outhouse scent mixed with stale urine. No wonder they're often spotted alone. |
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